How to properly end a relationship with a married man. How to end a relationship with a married man? Relationships with a married man: pros and cons

An affair with a married man is a very difficult type of relationship. This cannot be called a union of two free people, because, as a rule, other people are drawn into such relationships - children, spouses, relatives.

Whatever the advice of psychologists, they all call to first adequately assess the situation and understand what the woman herself wants. After all, intrigues with married men rarely end in marriage. Even if a mistress manages to take a person away, there is no guarantee that life with him will be happy.

A married man is the same man, only with limited capabilities.
Roman Gusev

Relationships with a married man: are they true?

Every second mistress is convinced that the married man she is dating loves her, not his wife. The other half of women will argue that the legal spouse is somehow worse than the mistress, therefore. This is what the “infidels” themselves can say, because how else will they start relationships on the side? Roughly speaking, usually a man simply lies to assert himself or to diversify his personal life with good sex.

The desire to find very rarely pushes a married man into extramarital affairs. Even if he becomes attached to his mistress, he is unlikely to be ready to leave his wife, with whom he is connected by common property and years of marriage. It can take quite a long time to make a responsible decision. A man has a lot of reasons not to leave his family - the age of the children, the common business, the opinion of relatives.

Such a relationship may well suit a man who has decided to sit on two chairs. But for a woman, such a situation will become more and more dramatic, especially if she has feelings.

There is no point in making claims against a married man, but in order to understand his true attitude towards his mistress, she needs to clarify several questions:

• What is it? Is he really unhappy with his wife and is trying to compensate for this on the side?
• Does she need such a relationship and can it replace her real family?
• Will a woman be satisfied with a supporting role, is she ready to be content with what is left after her family?
• Does she agree to wait until the man “ripes” and decides to divorce?
• Will she be able to calmly accept the fact that the romance has exhausted itself?

How to maintain a relationship with a married man?

If a woman decides to maintain such a union, despite all the negative aspects, psychologists recommend the following:

• Keep this relationship a secret from everyone. If the wife finds out about the husband’s affair, she may demand to separate from her mistress.
• Do not say anything bad about his wife, even if the man himself complains about her. There is an invisible connection between spouses, and a man can be hurt by offensive words addressed to his wife.
• Do not put pressure on a man and do not demand anything from him.
• Constantly convince a man how important and loved he is.
• Be skillful and relaxed in bed.

A lover must always be prepared for the fact that this relationship could end at any moment. Keeping a married man is both simple and difficult. Many husbands are not against having an interesting time with a pretty girl, but not everyone will do this to the detriment of the family. A man has to sneak away from his wife, find reasons to come home later, and hide money for gifts for his mistress. She is forced to adapt to his schedule, and is never sure when the next meeting will take place.

How to break off a relationship with a married man?

If the mistress understands that a man will never leave his family, and such a relationship has no future, she should get rid of them as soon as possible. Of course, if a woman is satisfied with a relationship without commitment, she can continue to have a forbidden affair. But if she sincerely loves her chosen one, it is better to refuse such love so as not to ruin her life.

To make it easier to leave a married lover, it is recommended to write down all his shortcomings on paper and re-read them before each date. A woman also needs to ask herself what it is about this man that inspires her admiration or respect, and look around. Are there really no more men with the same qualities?

To break up with a married man for sure, you need to break off the relationship sharply and decisively. The mistress should directly tell her chosen one about this and ask him never to seek a meeting with her again. There is no need to answer his calls and SMS, or call yourself. If you still have to communicate, for example, at work, you need to talk only about business, and at first you can generally ask for a business trip or vacation.

No married man can be considered happy if he is forced to drink a worse grade of gin than before his marriage.
Henry Louis Mencken

Conclusion

If thoughts about your married lover have become an obsession, and you just can’t forget him, you need to go to another city, change your surroundings, or find yourself an interesting activity that will leave you no time to be sad.

We must not forget about other men and doom ourselves to loneliness. Perhaps somewhere we will find true love walking nearby - a person with whom we will be able to build a reliable family fortress. Don't miss your chance.

A relationship with a strange man can hardly be called happy. Then why doesn't a woman break this sick triangle? Who is she - a victim or a temptress? What to do, where to run and is there any point in continuing to torture your soul?

Relationships with a married man: what is it?

Olga G, 32 years old, consulting with a psychologist:

“We met Nikolai 4 years ago, and although I saw the ring on his finger, he behaved as if he was an absolutely free man. He looked after me for 2 months. Everything was very beautiful: meetings after work, gorgeous bouquets, delicacies delivered to your home. Before giving up, he assured me that his wife was a formality and they would soon divorce.

A year later, our meetings remained at the “night and weekend” level. At first I didn’t rush him anywhere, I liked our relationship and the way he opened up to me. But when another year passed, I began to get bored, and in response to my questions, he only wondered why I was dissatisfied. After a while, Nikolai began to move away. I was angry, wrote to him, but he moved further and further away.

We've been together for 4 years now, but we're marking time. It’s taking me years, I’m probably sorely mistaken. But I love this man and I know that the love is mutual. But why don’t they divorce their wife..."

We will not go into details now about why Nikolai needed to start this. Men have mistresses simply because it is convenient for them, they want it. Dot. Why do women agree to a relationship with a married man?

Expectation

When a woman begins an affair with a married man, her expected picture is too optimistic. She thinks like: “This is a cool adventure in which I only benefit. There is no need to cook, iron, please, endure something, or drown in routine. You just need to look good, accept compliments and enjoy life.”

Indeed, it is the wife who suffers all these crises, lack of wages and other family nonsense. Mistresses receive everything ready-made without a hint of hassle. If a married man is also wealthy, he will pay for a vacation package, repair her car, and pamper her with a diamond. When leaving, he will not throw dirty socks under the bed, no, he will be politeness itself. In addition, the girl distributes her time in such a way that her relationship with her lover does not interfere with her personal life. She is independent, active, wealthy and in demand among men.

Reality

What actually happens when a woman begins a relationship with a married man? In real life, pictures of independent life are cruelly crushed on the rocks of disappointment. The fair sex is waiting for:

• constant adjustment to the man (a busy man dates only when he can break free);
• “secrecy at gunpoint,” which women get tired of after just six months (you can never remind anyone about yourself);
• systematic disruption of your own plans (you cancel a meeting with friends for his sake, and suddenly his mother-in-law has arrived);
• an internal feeling of loneliness - “with everyone, and with no one” (relationships with a married man always lead to this);
• jealousy (each female considers the male belonging to her to be HER, and nothing else);
• sad feeling of uselessness (lack of love, respect);
• impotence.

That's it, a woman understands that a relationship with a married man sucks her in more and more, but the pleasure from it becomes less and less. Anger appears, a feeling that she is being deceived, used, compared...

The main question always sounds the same: why, in a relationship with an unfree man, does a woman fail to pull off this union? The answer is prosaic: the psychology of a married man is such that in relationships on the side he is looking only for convenience. You made it clear that you are not applying for the first role in the triangle? Did they encourage him to have relationships with two women at once? Did you initially agree to the terms “lower water, lower than the grass”? That's it, you are the ideal lover for an easy relationship!

A woman who has a relationship with a married man paints herself into a corner: if she remains silent, the man will go to her for pleasure for 30 years (he has nowhere to rush), he will put pressure and make trouble - he will run away, frightened by the pressure.

What to do if love is strong

Love is a strong feeling, and perhaps the marriage from which the man is now running away has really become a fatal mistake in the lives of two young people. If there is strong love between you, and you are ready to take on the burden of great responsibility, learn to be wise in order to achieve what you want.

How to build a relationship with a married man?

First, be patient. They spoke about the seriousness of their feelings once and fell silent. The next step is up to the gentleman. While you are taking a wait-and-see attitude, become a real support for your companion, a guiding star, an adviser who will always listen and support. “Honey, it’s not that bad, you’re just tired. You need to rest, otherwise your emotional state will affect your health.”

Secondly, never mention your wife in conversations, especially in negative contexts. Even if a married man himself complains about her, there should be no mention of her in your mouth! It’s better to remember its shortcomings and improve against this background.

Thirdly, always be glad to see him. It doesn’t matter the time, day of the week or how you feel. He is the idol of your life. This advice is especially relevant for older men. For example, the behavior and desires of a married man after 60 years are significantly different from younger lovers. The famous testosterone that drives the male to other “prey” has already faded away, but is replaced by the desire to please other women, teach them, take care of them, and educate them. To be vitally needed by someone (not to children, but to a pretty person who will open her mouth when her mentor appears).

And of course, you must keep your romance in the strictest confidence. The male position on this matter is quite strict: if a married man finds out that a woman takes this point lightly, she risks being immediately abandoned.

But as M. Bulgakov said: “Be afraid of your desires...”. Let's simulate a situation where you finally achieved a married chosen one. What kind of man is this? Handsome, strong, responsible, you say. But psychologists will answer you differently!

As a result, for a relationship as a life partner you get:

• a man who is used to running away from problems (he didn’t honestly resolve crises with his wife);
• a man who has tasted the taste of betrayal;
• in addition, with a man you ALWAYS get his past family (as you know, there are no ex-wives).

In addition, a woman who finds herself (even unwittingly) third in a relationship is unlikely to be able to become happy for other reasons of her own. Subsequently, she herself begins to become pathologically jealous and suspicious of this man. “He was stuck in traffic for 1.5 hours? But he said the same thing to his wife when he dropped by to see me after work?” “Why don’t you pick up the phone for a long time, who calls you in the evening, why are you so tired?” This is a vicious circle in which a woman quickly gets tired and gives up.

Now close your eyes again and answer the question again: “Who is this man that you finally achieved? Are you ready to accept such a treasure? If you are thinking about it, don’t ruin your life. If you are still firmly confident in your feelings, well, no one will dissuade you.

If there is love, a man declares it immediately, but not in words, but in actions. I talked to my wife like a human being, packed my things and gave you the whole world. Everything else is an illusion that deceives you in a relationship with a married man.

How to get out of a hopeless relationship

If you are tired of waiting and want to end a meaningless relationship with your married partner, you are going in the right direction. You are required to have a serious inner attitude, an understanding of your desires and willpower.

So, how to break off a relationship with a married man once and for all!

Internal mood

What it is? This is the right motivation and definition of your life goals. How long has your relationship been going on? You understand that separation is inevitable, it’s just a matter of time? Why are you delaying this moment? What motivates you: fear of the unknown, habit, hope, fear of destroying any happiness? This is self-deception, you are not happy.

Are you tired of carrying the burden of negative emotions? Are you tired of being jealous of his wife, of being comfortable and not loved, of being in the shadows, of being asked to be patient and wait it out... Are you tired of constant excuses or fairy tales about wanting to be together someday in the distant future? Then the time has come for big changes for the better.

Get out of the victim role. This is not sarcasm, but sincere advice, because a mistress is a victim. Take off your rose-colored glasses already. Set priorities: do you want to create a strong union filled with love, trust, respect? Do you want children, a normal, happy life? Then tell your hopeless companion about this, he already has it all. The time has come for you to become happy. No reproaches, absolutely calm. You do this not in order to force a married man to indulge in promises again, but in order to let him go!

If you can’t find reasons to leave him, write down the negative qualities of your lover on paper. When you want to meet when he calls, look through this list before he arrives. Watch and make sure your choice is correct.

Ending the relationship

Based on the character of your partner and your attitude towards him. If he really has warm feelings for you, talk to him honestly. Explain the reason for your decision to end the relationship. Let him see that you have weighed everything and are determined. Thank the man, tell him that no one is to blame for anything, and that it’s time for you to move on. All.

But the above image is such a rare specimen that few people succeed in breaking up with a married man on good terms. Most often, contacts need to be broken quickly and irrevocably. There is no more chance of reuniting the relationship (and there will be a large number of them, because the hunter’s pride is hurt, and he urgently needs to be returned). Delete SMS immediately, without even reading them, ignore his visits, do not pick up the phone. If you shout from behind the door: “Go away, I don’t want to see you,” he will perceive it as a game. Control yourself. Throw out everything connected with it from the apartment. Don't walk along the street where he lives, pass by his favorite shops and cafes. If you meet on the street, calmly move on. Your weapon is ignorance.

A married man may ask for one last night, one last conversation, a kiss goodbye, a gift to remind you of a great time you had. Stop such an initiative on his part. It was just so convenient for him to live, he just wants to return to his measured lifestyle. Not you, but a well-ordered life! If necessary, change your phone number, change your job, block pages on social networks. Threaten, in the end, to tell his wife about his persecution, let him tuck his tail between his legs and calm down. There is no way back anymore.

Go on vacation. Treat yourself now. You need a distraction. If there is no opportunity to rest, load yourself up to your shoulders with work. So that you don't have a minute of free time.

Desired release

What does it mean? This means letting go of the person and everything connected with him. Do not take revenge, do not try to destroy their marriage (there is no point in this anymore) or prove something to anyone. Accept your feelings that have prevented you from living peacefully for so long. You are not bad, you are just a woman who wanted happiness. Did you accept? Now let them out: cry for a day to loud music, dance with your friends until the morning, break all his gifts, tear all the things that remind you of him.

Now learn to live for yourself. Find new hobbies, meet interesting people, do things you've never done before. Take up extreme sports if your relationship with a married man gives you thrills. Use your free time to improve yourself.

Look around - how many men walk past you every day, you didn’t even notice it before! Open your eyes, wake up, it's time to start a new life. Yes, it will be painful and scary, unbearably difficult at times. Do not give up. Believe in yourself and your feminine happiness!

If a woman is not ready for this step now, let her know that this imaginary “readiness” will never come. The best time is now.

What to do to never fall into the “third wheel” trap again

In order to never get involved in a relationship with a married man again, you need to work through your internal mistakes and scenarios.

1. Increase your self-esteem. A woman with an adequate attitude towards herself will never allow herself to be in the status of “waiting by the window.” Read articles about how to gain self-confidence, believe me, this is very important.
2. Overcome the fear of starting a serious relationship. Isn’t that why it was easier for you to come into contact with an unfree man?
3. Drive away negative thoughts: “Good men have already been taken apart, but I don’t want to get involved with bad men.” Who told you this?
4. Get rid of childhood traumas. Escape from the parental scenario, a tendency towards masochism, the eternal position of the victim, the desire to be taken care of, needed - all this is called codependent relationships. If you strive for them subconsciously, you cannot do without the qualified help of a psychologist.

Understand that no one can answer whether a woman acts rightly or wrongly when she starts a relationship with a married man. Everyone can judge, but no one is able to establish these limits of decency. Just look inside yourself. Is this what you dreamed of when you were the first school beauty? Aren't you offended that you celebrate all the holidays a day later? Aren't you ashamed, don't you feel sorry for yourself? Are you ready to live another 2, 6, 15 years of your life like this? And all your life? Take your will into your fist and finally do what you should have done a long time ago! What exactly? Answer this question for yourself!

Video on the topic of the article:

Today, relationships outside the family, as a rule, do not lead to horror. Adultery does not threaten not only “stoning”, but even serious condemnation from friends. Nevertheless, such a connection always raises many questions and often provokes serious problems. How to deal with them? What is it based on? The psychologist's advice given later in the article will help answer the questions asked.

What makes a man look for a mistress?

It is so customary in our society that marriages with women are most often initiated by a representative of the stronger sex. A woman can make it clear with a smile or a glance that she would not mind getting to know each other, but it is the man who will take the first steps in this direction.

But sometimes, when the acquaintance has taken place and everything has gone far enough, a woman suddenly finds out that she is having an affair with a married man. What to do, and most importantly, why did he start all this?

As psychologists explain, the reason for this is most often the relationships that have developed (or rather, not developed) in the family. If a man’s wife is the boss or simply, then she naturally suppresses her partner, and the latter, in order not to completely lose his manhood, begins to look for an outlet on the side.

But it also happens that the wife stops worrying, the man begins to treat her more like a relative. Everything in the family suits him, but sex is clearly lacking. This is also a serious reason for adultery.

Why do some ladies want to date married people?

But what can push a woman or a young lady into such a relationship, because, as will become clear later, she basically does not have the future so expected by most ladies?

A relationship with a married man (the advice of a psychologist about which we are considering) turns out to be very tempting for some women. Such a gentleman, as a rule, is gallant, knows how to look after beautifully, does not skimp on compliments and gifts, and looks more reliable and respectable than bachelors of all ages.

And some ladies are driven to do this by the desire to assert themselves. After all, at home they no longer feel welcome as before, and the relationship with their husband is gradually slipping into the realm of endless solving everyday problems. And here everything is like in my youth!

But there is also a category of women who are specifically looking for relationships that have no future. They are driven to this by childhood experiences - either they grew up in a single-parent family, where the mother was busy with work and could not pay due attention to the child’s mental state, or the father treated his daughter distantly. In such cases, start a family.

Pros of being in a relationship with a married man

If you listen to the answer to the question: “Is it worth continuing an affair with a married man?” - advice from a psychologist, it turns out that such a connection can be very useful for some ladies.

• For young and very poor young ladies, these relationships often turn out to be a way to improve their well-being. True, the main thing here is not to sell yourself short and agree only to real help and expensive gifts.
• For convinced feminists, such a relationship is an opportunity to maintain freedom and independence while having a permanent sexual partner.
• In addition, a woman who has a married lover can at the same time look for her future husband, without rushing to everyone who is more or less suitable, since she is satisfied and calm.
• And for married ladies, such relationships can add the thrill that is missing in family life and serve as confirmation of their undiminished feminine attractiveness.

As you can see, with a conscious and calm position in the mentioned connection, both a man and a woman can discover a lot of positive and beneficial things for both parties.

And now about the cons

But, as you understand, most often a woman’s relationship with a married man is not at all rosy. The psychologist's advice here is always the same - do not create illusions when entering into such a relationship. Remember:

Why are married men more willing to date married ladies?

There is one more nuance, without which it is difficult to understand what exactly a relationship with a married man consists of. The psychologist's advice given to women who have reached a dead end with the aforementioned relationship contains one important aspect: it turns out that married people are most willing to commit adultery with married people! And, as it turns out, what comes to the fore here is the opportunity to indulge in your passion without risking virtually anything.

• A woman free from the bonds of marriage may suddenly not be able to withstand the tense waiting and start calling him or writing SMS messages at the most inopportune moment. And a lady burdened with a family, as a rule, has neither the opportunity nor the desire for this.
• An unmarried mistress may eventually begin to demand to legitimize the relationship - to leave the family and marry her. And for a married woman, they are just a way to get bright emotions and a special “spice” in their life.
• A married lady, even if she becomes pregnant from her lover, will bring her well-fed child to her husband. In such a case, with a lonely, and even young lady, you won’t end up with a lot of trouble!
• A married woman even needs to be given gifts much less often, otherwise how will she explain to her husband the appearance of more and more new jewelry!
• In addition, there is no the most offensive option for external relationships - the possibility of catching a bad disease, because a married woman is not inclined to change partners often, much less sleep with just anyone.

Why does a married lady need this connection?

A man is looking for benefits, and what a relationship between a married woman and a married man is based on is simple - the woman asserts herself or compensates for what she lacks in the family.

Amorous and overly emotional people go to new ones. But most often this happens if the husband is not affectionate enough or is not able to satisfy his partner. And if a woman discovers that her husband is cheating on her, then the desire for revenge may throw her into the arms of her lover.

Think about it, do you need this relationship?

From all that has been said above, we hope you understand that a married man, when going in search of a mistress, least of all thinks about creating some kind of serious relationship and dreams only of new intense feelings and sexual pleasure. That is why a relationship with a married man has no prospects and in the vast majority of cases is doomed to break. So maybe you should avoid it from the very beginning? Well, of course, this does not apply to those who take such a connection lightly, and those to whom for some reason it seems very convenient.

Yes, if you are planning a relationship with a married man, only you will decide what to do (support them or not), but remember: too much is being put on this altar. Such a relationship can only be short-lived and non-binding. Even if a miracle happens and your lover gets divorced to marry you, you can only dream of peace: after all, now your spouse can just as easily leave you as soon as he feels the boredom of everyday life - he already has experience!

Long-term relationship with a married man

1. Never criticize your loved one's spouse. Even if he complains about her and talks about some misunderstandings in their life together, the man will react painfully to criticism from his mistress - after all, his wife has long become a part of him, and he constantly feels a connection with her.
2. No one should know about your relationship. After all, all this can reach your wife, and she, believe me, will be able to force her husband to stop what you value so much now.
3. Don't put pressure on your lover - men can't stand that. Instead, constantly tell him how important he is to you and how much you love him.

And lastly (but perhaps most importantly) - you will have to become a professional in everything related to sex. After all, it was precisely this man who was looking for him on the side. And if you do not amaze your partner with your ingenuity, over time he will begin to run away from you.

How to break off a relationship with a married man you love?

If you are tired of the uncertainty of a relationship with a married man and decide to break off relations with him, do not give up and do not bring the situation to a state where your nerves cannot stand it and a loud scandal breaks out with breaking dishes and hysterics.

To begin with, imagine that you have achieved what you want - you married this man. Will you trust him? But answer this question honestly! Understand that having changed once, he will not stop before changing again. Now for you. And he will tell his new mistress the same thing that he “sang” to you, blaming himself for everything!

Such a man is not capable of resolving conflict situations that arise over time in any family - he follows the easy path, changing partners. Do you want someone who will run away as soon as trouble arises? If not, then break up with him. Keep meetings to a minimum, and then stop answering his calls altogether. However, if he feels coldness on your part, he will quickly disappear - after all, as you already know, he is not used to solving problems!

A few final words

We hope that the psychologist’s advice given above will help you answer the question “how to end a relationship with a married man.” If you are waiting for real feelings, then it is important to understand how futile this relationship is and how humiliating the position of the mistress is. You deserve to be the object of true love, and not a toy in the hands of a man waiting only for pleasure. Don't waste time, look for your real half! Good luck!

When a woman is in love, any difficulties seem to be within her reach, she is sure: together we can overcome all troubles! Then the fog clears, and the pink lenses of the glasses lose their former charm. It turns out that the man next to you is no longer such a hero, because he is afraid to admit to his wife that he has a “third extra,” because he does not want to change anything and uses her shamelessly. That’s when you have to ask the question bluntly about what you choose: feed your heart with illusions, being content with the role of a “victim,” or break off the vicious relationship, because self-respect is more expensive. Only strong women choose the latter; the pain lasts a long time, but the healing is worth it.

How to break up with a married man if you have already become attached to him with your soul

To do this, we suggest taking 3 simple steps.

1 step. Reassessment of the situation and insight

What keeps a woman close to a married man? With her mind, she understands the futility of her situation, but her heart does not want to let go of love so easily, which means she needs to be convinced. Try to concentrate your thoughts on what are you getting out of this situation? Rare sex under cover of lies for several years? Pathetic excuses men use to appease you without offering anything in return? On holidays you are alone, in society you have to be considered a loner with an unenviable status. Look at the situation realistically, no matter how painful it may be.

Does your chosen one have any negative sides? Perhaps he cannot be relied upon? Or maybe he will cheat on you the same way he is now cheating on his wife? Age difference, bad habits, flaws in appearance, financial instability - do not be afraid to remind yourself that a man is not at all attracted to a “gift of fate”, that this is just a temporary insanity, a thirst for adventure, hopelessness. Anything but love! At least not from his side. At some point, common sense will prevail, you will see the light and be able to say a firm “goodbye.”

Step 2. Cutting off a man from the “source of nutrition”

Why does the stronger sex take sides? There are many reasons: boredom in relationships, sexual dissatisfaction, searching for a source of moral support or an outlet. The wife does not give something to the man, which you naively give for free, helping the deceiver receive a “dose” of euphoria and return home satisfied. Stop doing this - and your lover will leave you on his own, so you don’t have to torture yourself with explanations. Become such an unbearable and greedy bitch for him, like the women he hates, and he will be the first to run away, exposing his bastard insides.

How to do it? Use your brains. Start pestering him with your whims and hysterics about “when will you leave your wife”? Become a rude and calculating woman who only thinks about her own enrichment - demand expensive gifts, gold rings, overseas trips, trips to restaurants. Will he refuse? Call him an insolvent impotent, a redneck, a sucker, in the end. No man can tolerate reproaches below the belt. You can also play jealous hysterical, flirt with everyone you meet, call his colleagues or wife, punish the poor thing with a lack of sex. The tactic of complete ignorance and selfishness also works well. Of course, you need to play believably, without using all the techniques at the same time.

Step 3. Hard knockout

If the man is still next to you, and you couldn’t make him run away, then you’ll have to cut him to the quick. Prepare in advance for the fact that all his vows are empty words, because in 5 years he has not made a serious decision, what are you hoping for now? People change little, from the word “never”. He will promise the moon, talk about his hopeless situation. It's all a lie, there is always a way out, you are both adults.

Stop crying, bending under his pressure and pretending to be a “good girl” for whom he was “the light in the window.” Think only about yourself and your future, you have already worried about it enough. Respect your time, heart, dreams, do not be fooled by provocations! Practice your speech in advance if necessary. And cut the thread to the end, somehow you will get over it, you will suffer, but you will become stronger, make room for new relationships. No more torment.

How to live after a breakup and not be sad?

• The first rule is not to keep emotions to yourself, not to close yourself off, but to give vent to all this pain. Watch sad films, cry, dance, write abusive letters to your ex and then burn them. Don’t be afraid to drain everything that has built up over the years, the pain cannot be left inside, it must be experienced. You can invite your friends for a glass of spirits and together discuss the difficult lot of women, emancipated “princes” and the crisis of white horses. You can go to the forum and find free ears that will help you get through a difficult moment with music. The main thing is to let yourself speak out in order to calm down and accept the situation as it is.
• The second stage is to redirect the freed energy into business so that there is no temptation to return and destroy the remnants of pride. Are you experiencing financial difficulties? It's time to find a part-time job and take care of your future. A pet can be a source of love and warmth, so seriously think about getting a “furry antidepressant” at home. And, of course, don’t forget to fill your life with new experiences - sign up for foreign language courses or an oriental dance group, take part in a running marathon, buy sexy lingerie, take makeup lessons. Keep yourself busy, change your usual environment, meet new people - this will exhaust you, but it will not allow bitter thoughts to swarm in your head.

Parting is not the end, but a new round in life. It's time to improve your relationship with yourself, get your body and thoughts in shape, and fall in love with life again.

“... There are so many single guys, but I love a married guy!” The lines of the famous song are actually harsh reality. Maybe a ring on a man’s finger is a sign of quality? A married man is a status that means that a man has taken place in life and is firmly on his feet.

The article discusses the formats of relationships with married men, the types of men who create such relationships. Advice is given on how to get out of a relationship with a married man. Perhaps you will learn unexpected consequences of such a union.

Personal experience of a relationship with a married man

“For me, at that time, a married man, of course, was taboo. I myself was married, but unhappy in my marriage. Scandals, insults, nerves - all this lowered my self-esteem and made me suffer. My marriage was going through a divorce, I was painfully in love with my husband and decided to break the thread that connected me with him. I decided to have an intimate relationship with another man.

At work, I communicated with many men, and with one of them, over the course of a year, communication was often informal. And so, I gave flirting the green light. The man, seeing my disposition, offered to meet.
I want to clarify right away that he said that he was not married and never had been. I naively believed him.

We had a very warm communication. Talk about everything. Compliments, smiles, touches. All this returned my self-esteem to its place. I got used to it and it didn’t take long for the butterflies in my stomach to appear.
After a month of our hotel and restaurant relationship, he admitted that he was married. I had already fallen in love and felt warmth from him too. The man said that if it weren’t for his family, he would have been with me. I listened in tears and realized that I was in trouble.

I tried to put an end to the relationship, but I didn’t have enough strength. I needed a man's shoulder, because after the divorce I felt empty and lonely. The relationship continued. We didn't talk about his family. I liked this trait about him. He never complained about his wife, and I didn't dare raise the issue. We dreamed of a holiday together and the minutes spent together seemed like bliss.
The man admitted that he was a male by nature and his wife had already abandoned him several times, but the child was holding the family together.

So we continued to meet for a year. During this time, my lover became not just my best friend with the option of “sex for one night”, he became a truly close person. He continued to shower me with compliments. Thanks to him, I felt like an incredibly attractive, confident woman. Of course, at night, I imagined what a wonderful family we would be.

I understood that he was not mine and would not be mine, that I needed to arrange my personal life. I met men and told him about them, and he expressed his opinion whether he would be suitable or not. The dating continued, but I remained faithful to my married friend.

After some time, the man announced his wife’s pregnancy. At that moment it was as if I was doused with boiling water. I realized that I need my own man, not someone else’s. I wanted this with all my soul and “rushed” to new searches at dating parties.

And happiness, I found it. As soon as I started a new relationship, I no longer needed a lover. Our communication at first remained only within the framework of work, and when I quit and moved in with my husband, it completely disappeared.
I can say that for some time I even liked being a mistress; I felt like the heroine of a soap opera. It seemed to me that I was such an insidious woman that I slept with a married man. It was self-consolation. I am grateful to the man for this relationship, he taught me a lot. He gave me tenderness and warmth, I thawed out from the negativity of my previous relationship. It was a very emotional and bright year in my life.”

I can call this format of relationship with a married man “Sex for friendship.” It’s good that I was able to pull myself together in time and adequately assess the situation. There was, so to speak, little bloodshed.

Options for developing a relationship with a married man

In fact, a relationship with a married man can have the most unexpected continuation. Here's one of the incredible sequels.

The Italian singer Pupo, the famous artist of the 80s (song Gelato al cioccolato) has long been living with two families in his own house. His first wife Anna has been married to him since 1974. The second wife, Patricia, has been living with them for 20 years. Anna admits that she is jealous of her husband for his other wife, but she puts up with it because she loves her husband. The man has two daughters from Anna and Patricia has one daughter. I note that in Italy polygamy is officially prohibited.

You will find many similar stories in Russia. Wives often prefer to pretend that they do not know about their husband’s adventures, so as not to disturb the peace of the family. Women are afraid to be left alone with their child or they love their spouse very much.
Here is an example of this, another incredible continuation of a relationship with a married man is reproduced in the play “Daddy in the Web.” The man has two families. And so his teenage children from different families met by chance and go to visit each other. Dad hides from them in every possible way, getting into stupid situations. To the surprise of the audience, at the end of the performance, two wives and children meet with the unfortunate father and the women announce that they have long known about each other’s existence and communicate secretly. Such relationships often happen in life. Women spare a man’s feelings and solve the problem without his participation.

Types of relationships between women and married men and their motives

1. Mutually beneficial

An option when both partners get what they want from each other. This could be sex, moral satisfaction or a promotion at work. A girl can receive material satisfaction, and a man can receive sexual satisfaction. When benefiting from a relationship, be aware that it is temporary. A married man can be in love like crazy, but not like a fool.

Youth and beauty have always historically been in demand. Young mistresses receive various benefits in exchange for sex, submission and helpfulness. I can’t blame such women; I think they have enough difficulties in these relationships.

2. Love

The most difficult type of relationship with a married man is love. You are in love, he is the light in the window. What about a man? He says that he loves her, but he just can’t get a divorce now. With these excuses, a man is able to feed his mistress for more than one year.

Here you need to understand that even your strong feelings do not have the right to destroy someone else’s family. You need to understand that your sublime “love” can bring a man to bed, but rarely to the registry office.
Family life implies everyday life, about which the boat called “love” so often breaks. But family is something more than everyday life. These are years of joy, years of difficulty, illness and health. Men often forget about the woman who takes care of them every day. Every day she is their friend, psychologist, cook, cleaner, nanny and many more. Sometimes a cute skirt can push a man to cheat. But it is rarely possible to completely pull him out of the family.

There are frequent examples of a man leaving his family and going to his mistress. After an n-amount of time, he returned back to his “bad” wife.
I would like to ask women in love: “Don’t ruin your family. Love quietly, silently, and don’t take her away from the family. If a man understands that he wants to get a divorce and spend the rest of his days with you, he will definitely do it himself.”

3. Revenge on a friend

You must be a cunning adventurer if you decided to do this. How could your friend annoy you that you decided to hit her on the back with such an ax?
This format of relationship with a married man also takes place. The weaker sex is a beautiful metaphor for men. If men fight until the first drop of blood, then women fight until the last.
Taking a friend's husband away is a very evil idea. You play, raise your self-esteem, and then what? You need to understand what you can achieve:
- A man will fall in love with you and will not give way
- A man will leave his wife and want to be with you
- You will lose a friend, and with such a disposition you probably don’t have enough of them anyway
- Fall in love yourself, and the man will remain in the family
In any case, you won't be on horseback for long. It’s easy to take your husband away from your family, but try, find and keep yours.

4. The lady went hunting

This option is similar to revenge on a friend. Only here you don’t know your rival, you want intrigue and emotions. Life has become grey, ordinary and boring. You believe that a mistress is a mysterious, sexy woman whom a man sees secretly in order to have a romantic and sexual relationship with her.
It would be foolish to deny that there are a lot of different emotions in relationships with married men.
- You can hide from everyone (just like in the movies)
- You will be a passionate tigress for him
- You will increase your self-esteem
But! You can always fall in love and get burned.

A man's motives in a relationship with his mistress

In the development of a relationship with a married man, a man’s motives play an important role.

1. Alpha male

These individuals are confident in their irresistibility. Women have been jumping on them since kindergarten. But then the moment has come when the male puts the ring on his finger. What is changing in his life?
And there are two options. For the most dissolute, nothing changes; they openly cheat on their wife, not embarrassed by her feelings.

If you become the lover of an alpha male, you should know that you are the next one. There are families in which a man tells his wife about his adventures and they discuss their mistresses together. Wives endure such disadvantages from their husbands and in old age, when the husband calms down, they receive their reward. A quiet, good family life.

There is a subspecies of alpha males who spare their wife’s feelings and hide their adventures from mutual acquaintances. Well done boys.
In any case, it is extremely rare for an alpha male to destroy a marriage. Wives know who they married.
It is very easy to fall in love with such a man and then suffer.

2. Stumbled (could not withstand the crisis)

There are a lot of such men. The path of family life is thorny, and there are many crises along it. The birth of a child, problems at work, coldness in sex, age crisis. These are the stages when a man can cheat if you, a potential lover, are nearby.

It is quite possible to take a stumbling man away from the family. The only question is, for how long?
In such a relationship, you will often hear complaints from a man about his wife, children, and work. You will feel sorry for him and console him. Ask yourself: are your problems not enough for you?

3 Casual sex

A married man is capable of casual sex in an unstable emotional state. For example, while intoxicated. Yes, yes, and your story with a married man can begin with such non-romantic relationships.

Such a man suddenly realizes that men who have wives live longer, but with a mistress it is much more interesting.
In the morning he will regret what happened, but understand that he liked it. Such a whirlpool can drag both of them in. Who knows what will come of this. Even if a man leaves the family for you, where is the guarantee that he will not leave for another woman afterwards?

4. Man's revenge on his wife

Sometimes it happens. Suppose a man was cheated on by his wife, and he is determined to take revenge on her. In this relationship, you run the risk of becoming just a tool. There is a high probability that the man will take revenge, calm down and return back to his wife. After all, if his wife’s betrayal aroused such emotions in him, then the family has a chance.

5. Animal instincts

A man has problems with sex. He feels full of unspent sexual energy, but his wife is cold and in no hurry to satisfy his fantasies.
If you have met such a man, know that you are a “sex substitute”. There is no question of leaving the family here. Only satisfaction of instincts, no love.

If you are ready for such a format, then you can be a mistress for a while, but there’s one thing. You will soon get bored, because your skills in sex will be exhausted. The man will put on trousers and go look for a new priestess.
If your heart is filled with such a man, don’t worry. He will soon leave you. You will cry and forget in time.

6. Rich daddy or lifestyle

Rich guys are a huge fish, for women hunters. Some men are now required by status to have a mistress. Mostly these are young, beautiful girls. This relationship can be considered mutually beneficial. Women leave them, often not of their own free will, but when the daddy pleases.

The main disadvantage of such relationships, in addition to the moral aspect, is that some lovers live in golden cages, afraid to take a step aside. A man won’t just pay like that.

7. Married woman and married man

In such relationships, both partners try to maintain peace in their families. The couple meets to enjoy each other. But friendship between a man and a woman does not exist. There is always a danger of one partner falling in love with the other. Then there will be requests to leave the family and create a new one. This is a very complex form of relationship, here a woman must realize who is more valuable to her. What kind of man can make her happy and make choices. Often the choice is on the side of the legal spouse.

The woman returns to her family and looks at her husband with new eyes. Guilt is mixed with love, during such a period the family can experience a second honeymoon.

How to get out of a relationship with a married man?

Time is inexorable and every year spent next to someone else’s husband puts an end to the personal life of a woman without a family and children.

Relationships with a family man are like a sore tooth. It definitely needs to be pulled out. If you are a strong-willed person, you can stop meetings and stop communication. Men often perceive this behavior as a game or coquetry and begin to swear their love to the woman and beg her to renew the relationship. Over time, the pain and feelings will cool down. You will definitely meet a man who will only be yours.

Another option is to rush in search of a new passion. Search and you will definitely meet a worthy man who will give you all the necessary emotions. After all, a relationship with a married man cannot satisfy a woman completely.

It may have happened that you gave birth to a married man. There is no need to sacrifice the child and deprive him of his father. A man must be responsible for the baby and take part in his life morally and financially.

But what should legal wives do?

When it comes to relationships with a married man, it is impossible to bypass the women who are on the other side of the barricades, their legal wives.

You won’t envy the wives who find themselves in triangles. Just imagine. That man you hug every night, kiss every inch of him, does the same with another woman.
If the wife decides to return her husband to the family, a confrontation between the mistress and the wife arises. Who will be the wiser?

In order to keep a man for his mistress:
- you can’t make scandals
- you should not be offended by short or infrequent meetings
- you must always be beautiful, well-groomed, fresh and healthy
- you need to invent new sexual games to stir up interest in yourself

In order to keep a man, a wife needs absolutely the same thing as a mistress with one but. When the wife begins to transform, to be fresh, with hair and makeup, the man returns his attention to his wife. Over time, the need for a mistress disappears. Thus, a relationship with a married man for a woman can end overnight and without explanation.

Often a wife cannot forgive her husband for cheating and breaks off the relationship. At this stage, it is not yet a fact that the man will go with his things to his mistress. The husband may realize that he has lost a loved one and will want to return the family. Then the man will say goodbye to his mistress and will devote all his efforts to restoring the relationship with his wife.

It is worth saying that wives often forgive men and make reconciliation.

Unfortunately, we often see how women spend years and decades on a married man, over time they get used to it and already lose hope of creating their own full-fledged family.
Think about it, you risk being left alone in the most difficult moments for you. Your dear husband will always look after you when you are sick, will bring you medicine and kiss your snotty nose. For this reason, it is worth breaking off relations with a married man and finding true love.

In any case, a woman needs to remember several dangers that await her in a relationship with a married man:

1. A feisty wife can physically deal with you.
2. A less lively wife can cause scandals, even in crowded places.
3. Your love may be left behind. A man can break off all relationships one day without explanation for the sake of his family.
4. You might get pregnant and become a single mother.
5. You can break up a family, but you can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune.

Your relationship is only in your hands.

Alexandra Lobanova.